Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that
motivates a parent, I will tell them:
I loved you enough... to ask where you were going, with whom, and what
time you would be home
I loved you enough... to insist that you save your money and buy a
bike for yourself even though I could afford to buy one for you..
I loved you enough... to be silent and let you discover that your new
best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough... to make you go pay for the bubble gun you had
taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for
it.
I loved you enough... to stand over you for two hours while you
cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes..
I loved you enough... to let you see anger, disappointment and tears
in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect..
I loved you enough... to let you assume the responsibility for your
actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my
heart
But most of all, I loved you enough... to say NO when I knew you
would hate me for it..
Those were the most difficult battles of all.. I'm glad I won them,
because in the end you won, too..
And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic
that motivates parents, you will tell them.
* * *
Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. I had the meanest mother in the
whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, I had to have
cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, I had to eat
sandwiches. And you can guess my mother fixed me a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
Mother insisted on knowing where I was at all times. You'd think I
was a convict in a prison. She had to know who my friends were, and
what I was doing with them.
She insisted that if I said I would be gone for an hour, I would be
gone for an hour or less. I was ashamed to admit it, but she had the
nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making me work. I had to wash
the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for me to do..
She always insisted on me telling the truth the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth. By the time I was a teenagers, she could read
my minds. Then, life was really tough!
Mother wouldn't let my friends just honk the horn when they drove up.
They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone
else could date when they were 12 or 13, I had to wait until I was 16...
Because of my mother, I missed out on lots of things other kids
experienced.
I have never been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or
ever been arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that I have left home, I am an educated, honest adult. I am doing
my best to be a mean parent just like Mom was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today: it just doesn't
have enough mean moms.
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